sorry, Bob

Clearly, I was wrong about you.

Bob is my shining star

I don't know why I'm always amazed how big of an ass-clown Bob is. He's so friggin' grumpy it's amazing and he brings the grumpness so consistently I'm more amazed at myself for constrantly being amazed by it. Basically, it's all very amazing. He truly never quits. I know he kicks kittens before going to bed every night. Kids, don't let this happen to you. Invest your time in something worthwhile, like hustling/pimping, while you're young so that when you get to be Bob's ripe old age of thirty-grump you can relax. And here's what kills me the most: Bob has this list of things that are gay. For instance, I'm a fag for swimming and climbing trad. Well, that's amazing to me because I thought gay guys hung out in gay bars. You know, gay bars like the gay bars Bob hangs out in for the free drinks. That's right, Bob goes to gay bars so gay dudes will hit on him and buy him drinks. Now, I understand the concept that many things can be gay but there has got to be some scale by which to measure a thing's gayness. And on this scale, going to gay bars has got to rate higher than swimming. I can go on forever with this shit. Bob used to be a swimmer. He swam at the high school next to mine. And sure, he'll tell you that gay bar thing was years ago and high school was even longer ago but that's already more gay stuff than most of us will do in our lifetimes. He just got it all done early and feels this qualifies him to sit back and judge like a big gay king of a gay hill. It's just not fair. I can wear G-strings every day, starting today, until I die and won't eclipse his gayness. There's no way for me to out gay Bob. Therefore, he will always be there... watching... judging.

Anywayz, here's a video of Bob on Hard Boiled:

Bob on Hard Boiled from Elijah Ball on Vimeo.