I don't know why I'm always amazed how big of an ass-clown Bob is. He's so friggin' grumpy it's amazing and he brings the grumpness so consistently I'm more amazed at myself for constrantly being amazed by it. Basically, it's all very amazing. He truly never quits. I know he kicks kittens before going to bed every night. Kids, don't let this happen to you. Invest your time in something worthwhile, like hustling/pimping, while you're young so that when you get to be Bob's ripe old age of thirty-grump you can relax. And here's what kills me the most: Bob has this list of things that are gay. For instance, I'm a fag for swimming and climbing trad. Well, that's amazing to me because I thought gay guys hung out in gay bars. You know, gay bars like the gay bars Bob hangs out in for the free drinks. That's right, Bob goes to gay bars so gay dudes will hit on him and buy him drinks. Now, I understand the concept that many things can be gay but there has got to be some scale by which to measure a thing's gayness. And on this scale, going to gay bars has got to rate higher than swimming. I can go on forever with this shit. Bob used to be a swimmer. He swam at the high school next to mine. And sure, he'll tell you that gay bar thing was years ago and high school was even longer ago but that's already more gay stuff than most of us will do in our lifetimes. He just got it all done early and feels this qualifies him to sit back and judge like a big gay king of a gay hill. It's just not fair. I can wear G-strings every day, starting today, until I die and won't eclipse his gayness. There's no way for me to out gay Bob. Therefore, he will always be there... watching... judging.
Anywayz, here's a video of Bob on Hard Boiled:
Bob on Hard Boiled from Elijah Ball on Vimeo.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Bob is my shining star
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4 comments:
You guys need to go a few rounds in the mud pit I think....
Is that video from the 90s?
I swear that I heard Bob was throwing away his harness and never getting on a rope again.
yes, i was a swimmer. and there endeth the only truth in your feeble diatribe.
"bob has a list of things that are gay". not true. bob doesn't care about shit like that. that's lena's job. so let's look at some of her observations (with a little input from me):
1) once carried around a picture of a shirtless male in his wallet. elijah-CHECK, bob-nope
2) participates in group stretching with other males . elijah-CHECK, bob-nope
3) took a shower with another male. not in a locker room, though, just kickin' it like "hey bro, let's take a shower!" elijah-CHECK, bob-nope
4) didn't get enough guys in speedos when he was swimming in high school so has continued to start out every morning with a fresh dose of dong into his 30s. elijah-CHECK, bob-nope
5) is obsessed with gayness, as evidenced by the numerous references of 'gay' in one blog posting. elijah-CHECK, bob-nope
6) worked at UPS 20 years ago with an alcoholic loser that went to gay bars when he was broke to get free drinks. elijah-nope, bob-CHECK
7) is obsessed with the aforementioned idea, wishes he thought of it, and longs for the day when he lives somewhere that has gay bars for him to act on his obsession. elijah-CHECK, bob-nope
So crack open another Zima and finish up that tossed salad. it's ok to be who you are elijah. really.
video date: December 11, 2004. This was the 2nd attempt of the day and I got it the next go as I recall.
And yes, I haven't owned a harness in 2 years, and I'm not sure where my rope is.
No, I don't miss either of them.
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